| STAR
CRAZY
By
Danielle Dowling
GEMINI
A
love affair could reach critical mass this month, and the much ado might
have you frothing neurotically. On the one hand, you’ll be the perfect
picture of calm, acting more Zen than the Dalai Lama; on the other, you’ll
be an insatiable, inconsolable banshee, screeching until you make your
point or your vocal cords bleed—whichever happens first. But, hey,
it’s not all bad: If you’ve been looking for fabulous fashion
on the cheap, your bargain radar will be strong, especially on the 8th.
Steal the Spotlight: June 23, 28
Stick to the Shadows: June 10, 11
The Most Useful Item in Your Handbag: cold, hard cash
CANCER Go with your gut. Its heightened strength will
lead you through the rough patches that will crop up at the beginning
of the month. If you feel about ready to burst out of your skin, seek
out a few of your favorite things to do—knitting, window-shopping,
bungee-jumping, whatever gets you through the strife. With all the hubbub,
you might find yourself prone to emotional spillage, so think before you
speak.
Steal the Spotlight: June 25, 26, 27
Stick to the Shadows: June 12, 13, 14
The Most Useful Item in Your Handbag: needlepoint
LEO Watch those nails. They’re likely to break
when you’re surging with this much energy. A gold-chain-laden little
birdie with a Mohawk may whisper in your ear, “Slow down, fool.”
And you’d be well advised to pay heed to his words. The lights along
the road of life may all appear to be green, but drag-race through them
and the cosmic cops will hand you with one helluva speeding ticket.
Steal the Spotlight: June 1, 2, 29
Stick to the Shadows: June 15, 16
The Most Useful Item in Your Handbag: bottle of Valium
VIRGO So there’s this guy who lives down the block,
or hangs out at that bar you like, or sits in the cubicle to the left
of the watercooler, and there’s something powerfully attractive
about him but also, well, equally odd. He could be a worthy hook-up or
you could just be dazed from working too much. If the latter be true,
and the stacks of files at the office has kept from tending to the stacks
of dishes in your sink, you’ll be spurred to conquer the house cleaning
on the weekend of the 10th.
Steal the Spotlight: June 3, 4
Stick to the Shadows: June 17, 18
The Most Useful Item in Your Handbag: wet naps
LIBRA Your daily grind needs a shot in the arm. So revamp
your inner vamp. Hustle your butt to the makeup counter and try out some
new colors. Heat up your wardrobe with some lower cuts and higher hems.
Hell, check out that tantric sex workshop that you’ve been interested
in. All this makeover magic will pay off at the end of the month: Want
love? Speak its name and it will come.
Steal the Spotlight: June 5, 6, 7
Stick to the Shadows: June 19, 20
The Most Useful Item in Your Handbag: a bold red lipstick
SCORPIO Friends, strangers, even a few Romans—you’ll
be quick to lend an ear to anyone who needs to unload. But mid-month,
hold the phone, Ann Landers, and focus on the chores you’ve been
neglecting. Afterward, you can reward yourself with a spot of fun. The
where and what won’t matter much; you’ll be able to entertain
yourself and a group of your crankiest friends even if all of you were
stranded on a 750-square-foot deserted island with nothing but a puny
coconut tree.
Steal the Spotlight: June 8, 9
Stick to the Shadows: June 21, 22
The Most Useful Item in Your Handbag: your cell phone
SAGITTARIUS Like the Brady Bunch—that wisest of
cabals—once sang, when it’s time to change, then it’s
time to change. And you’re ready for an absolute upheaval, identifying
and eliminating those old bad habits with the precision of a Tweezerman.
But now that you’ve seen the light, please don’t trample the
rest of us with your proselytizing. You might have the best intentions,
but remember that’s what paves the road to hell.
Steal the Spotlight: June 10, 11
Stick to the Shadows: June 23, 24
The Most Useful Item in Your Handbag: Nicorette
CAPRICORN Need to nitpick yourself meticulously without
fear of throwing your self-confidence into a nosedive? Well, then, a golden
opportunity awaits. However, you may be so uncharacteristically distracted
by the idea of playing beach blanket bingo with your friends that you
might not be able to stay grounded long enough to start instituting the
resulting reformation. Enlist a friend or an expert to help you keep on
track and make sure you’re marching down the right path.
Steal the Spotlight: June 12, 13, 14
Stick to the Shadows: June 25, 26, 27
The Most Useful Item in Your Handbag: a mirror
AQUARIUS Wouldn’t it be nice if you had a tighter
butt, slimmer thighs, bigger lips, longer lashes, a chicer wardrobe, a
walk-in closet, etc.? Of course it would, but would it bring you inner
peace? That happily ever after you’ve always dreamed about? Uh,
no, and deep down you know it’s true. But when your head’s
orbiting Neptune, perspective is such a lonely word.
Steal the Spotlight: June 15, 16
Stick to the Shadows: June 1, 29
The Most Useful Item in Your Handbag: smelling salts
PISCES Lady Luck will be so accessible to you that you’ll
feel as if you have a magic wand at your disposal. You’ll merely
need to think of something and suddenly it’ll appear. Now if only
you could wave that wand to regulate your mood swings. Try your best to
strike an even emotional keel and don’t do anything Laura Bush wouldn’t
do.
Steal the Spotlight: June 17, 18
Stick to the Shadows: June 3, 4, 30
The Most Useful Item in Your Handbag: Dramamine
ARIES
Is that steam coming out of your ears? It might look sexy under
certain circumstances, but all the anger percolating inside you could
likely twist your pucker into the foul face of fury—and think of
the wrinkles that would leave. Just remember: Any setbacks you face right
now, especially with that guy you’ve been after, are momentary and
often serve to separate the frogs from the princes.
Steal the Spotlight: June 19, 20
Stick to the Shadows: June 5, 6, 7
The Most Useful Item in Your Handbag: a hankie
TAURUS
Now is the time to figure out what and who it is you love—and,
most important, what it is that you love about yourself. Put your methodical
nature to good use. You can overhaul everything that’s been bugging
you about your wardrobe, your relationships, and your career in a revolutionary
way, but this chrysalis will require some time and careful planning before
you emerge from it brand new.
Steal the Spotlight: June 21, 22
Stick to the Shadows: June 8, 9
The Most Useful Item in Your Handbag: a notebook | 
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Birthday
Girl: Angelina Jolie (June 4)
Whoa! Talk about opposites attracting.
You and Brad are all that and a bag of chips, astrologically speaking.
This new millennium has put you through the ringer—what with
Saturn moving through your sun sign and then your ascendant from
2001 to 2005 and Pluto trolling around your house of love for the
past decade. But never fear ’cause Pluto will move on in a
year or so. Besides, you seem to have come up through all the turmoil
smelling like a rose garden. Now that the baby is born, you may want
to invest in a personal trainer and target that baby weight ASAP;
unfortunately, those born on June 4 are prone to weight gain as
they get older. You might also be feeling a little cranky, and you
may want to take it out on Brad (it was his sperm after all), but
cut him some slack. And cut yourself some slack, too. Take a few
weeks off. The world will still be around for you to save when you’re
all refreshed and ready for action.
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