| JULY STAR
CRAZY
By
Danielle Dowling
CANCER It’s all about you this month, and you won’t be able to stop yourself from reaching out and touching everyone with the myriad OMG moments coming your way. That’s all well and good, my little chatterbox, but keep your ears as sharp as your tongue: A loved one might have something very important to tell you.
Steal the Spotlight: July 23, 24
Stick to the Shadows: July 10, 11
Strap on the Jet Pack and Fly off to: New York
LEO You have the right to remain silent, but what you don’t say others might hold against you. Additional side effects that can result from keeping the cat in the bag include martyr complex, obsessive-compulsive spending sprees, and lethargy. So do yourself and the rest of us a favor and let loose them fighting words. Once the smoke clears, it might not be all that bad.
Steal the Spotlight: July 25, 26
Stick to the Shadows: July 12, 13
Strap on the Jet Pack and Fly off to: Alaska
VIRGO Anyone up for a reunion? You certainly are, so put those party-organizing skills to work and whip up a fete that will be the talk of the town for years to come. When putting together guest lists, sending out invitations, and working out the decorating and catering arrangements, set your anal-retentive powers to excessive so that no detail goes unexamined.
Steal the Spotlight: July 1, 27
Stick to the Shadows: July 14, 15
Strap on the Jet Pack and Fly off to: The Container Store
LIBRA Work, work everywhere and not a drop of fun to be had. If only that were the worst of it: Just as you’re putting the finishing touches on that report you’ve been toiling over for weeks, your computer crashes, losing all those brilliant tweaks. Plus, that dipshit assistant only made 20 copies of a crucial handout when you had asked for 200, and the big meeting is a mere minute away. If anyone needs a vacation, it’s you, and the time will be right come the end of the month.
Steal the Spotlight: July 30, 31
Stick to the Shadows: July 16, 17
Strap on the Jet Pack and Fly off to: Amsterdam
SCORPIO Accidentally ate a gross of deep-fried Twinkies at the Fourth of July picnic? Rather than dwell on past diet blunders like these, get back on that weight-loss horse pronto, Tonto, and make yet another action plan to eradicate your love handles, spare tires, and thunder thighs. This time around you have the potential to stick to it and get shapely before the bikini season ends.
Steal the Spotlight: July 5, 6, 7
Stick to the Shadows: July 18, 19
Strap on the Jet Pack and Fly off to: Canyon Ranch
SAGITTARIUS It might feel like love at first sight, but is he Mr. Right? If only there were a never-fail indicator. Oh, wait, there is—it’s called taking your sweet time. Before jumping off that matrimonial cliff, figurative or otherwise, take a moment to ask yourself, “Do I want to wake up next to that every morning for the rest of my days?”
Steal the Spotlight: July 8, 27
Stick to the Shadows: July 20, 21
Strap on the Jet Pack and Fly off to: Anywhere but Vegas
CAPRICORN The summer of love has kicked into high gear for you. Friends, lovers, even enemies want to engage you in a hugfest, so go ahead and drink their Kool-Aid. You might even find someone new to woo. However, if anyone tries to give you love advice, think twice. Make sure it squares with what you know deep down to be true.
Steal the Spotlight: July 10, 11
Stick to the Shadows: July 23, 24
Strap on the Jet Pack and Fly off to: Club Med
AQUARIUS If you were a cosmetic tool, this month you’d be a cotton ball. You’re so psychically absorbent, you’ll be able to read people’s minds. But as much as you’ll be soaking up all the good vibes, you’ll be a magnet for evil energies as well. So if some sourpuss sister tries to unload her bad juju on you, tell her to take a hike.
Steal the Spotlight: July 12, 13
Stick to the Shadows: July 25, 26
Strap on the Jet Pack and Fly off to: A deserted island
PISCES Flashing your ta-tas to every cute guy at the mall while doing a mean Ethel Merman impersonation is one way to relieve boredom. As long as you can outrun the security guards, you should be okay, but you might leave your significant other scratching his head. If he’s the Paul Newman to your Joanne Woodward, then wait out this restlessness until the end of the month when you can drum up some hot and tasty ways to put the pizzazz back in your relationship.
Steal the Spotlight: July 14, 15
Stick to the Shadows: July 1, 2
Strap on the Jet Pack and Fly off to: A nudist colony
ARIES If you’ve been shivering in the winter of some past discontent, make your world
a glorious summer by getting off your mopey butt and redecorating your abode. All that moving, painting, cleaning, and shopping will keep your fingers out of the cookie jar, should you feel the need to boost your mood with a bag of Oreos.
Steal the Spotlight: July 16, 17
Stick to the Shadows: July 3, 4
Strap on the Jet Pack and Fly off to: The Home Depot
TAURUS Face it—you’ve got a raging case of sunny day fever. And though you can’t call up the boss and tell her that you’ll be out sick for the next month or so, you can indulge yourself with at least one mental health day. Maybe you can even entice a friend or two to ditch work, too, and join you for a frolic in the park. Just don’t forget the sunscreen.
Steal the Spotlight: July 18, 19
Stick to the Shadows: July 6, 7
Strap on the Jet Pack and Fly off to: Six Flags
GEMINI Bored with the beach bunny routine so soon? To combat the restlessness, you might slip into your best bustier and hot pants and troll the biker bars for the ultimate bad boy. If you’re merely out for a good time, by all means, cover his entire body in latex and have yourselves a ball. If you’re looking for a soul mate, you may want to rethink your strategy.
Steal the Spotlight: July 20, 21
Stick to the Shadows: July 8, 9
Strap on the Jet Pack and Fly off to: Sturgis, South Dakota | 
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Birthday Girl: Lindsay Lohan (July 2)
You’re talented and smart—there’s no doubt about that—so why waste your time feuding with haters? Save that energy for yourself. Now is the time to hone your skills into razor-sharp weapons. Then, when your detractors try to push your buttons, they’ll melt like butter in the supernova of your brilliance. Your recent interest in kabbalah may help you achieve a connection between the inner and outer you. Strike that balance, and you’ll easily escape the fate of so many child actors.
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