You’re at your least attractive—in butt-sagging workout pants, dripping with sweat—but he’s still there, planning his attack. Before you’ve even descended the treadmill, he howls, “Looking good!” You naively assume an irritated eyeroll will get Horn Dog Trainer to quit harassing you, but then, he crosses the line: “Damn, girl—you’re looking hawt! When are we gonna work out together? Just you, me, and those curves!” In one grand gesture, he punctuates his enthusiasm with a pelvic thrust too creepy to describe, then proceeds to stalk his next prey: the woman on the pain-inducing, supposedly good-for-you machine directly to your left.

If experiences like the aforementioned are all too common during your workouts, you could: A) tell the management, get the sexed-up moron banned, and enjoy a brief respite before the next one shows up on the scene; B) take Natalie Portman’s advice in the movie Garden State and kick ’em in the balls; or C) sidestep the madness completely and join an all-female gym—a booming trend that began with the 1995 debut of Curves (curves.com). Now the largest fitness franchise in the world, with more than 9,000 locations and 3 million members, Curves delivers on its promise of “no men, no mirrors, no makeup” and offers a fast-paced 30-minute circuit workout using simple hydraulic resistance machines. Lady of America (ladiesworkoutexpress.com) also provides half-hour circuit-training sessions, plus a massage room, aerobics, and spinning classes, while Contours Express (contoursexpress.com) prides itself 29-minute sweat sessions and weight-bearing equipment that helps build muscle and bone density (thus combating osteoporosis)—all, of course, in a mercifully testosterone-free zone. —Marissa Kristal

Photo credit: Leah-Anne Thompson